My life vest.

I'm loving this song lately. "And the water is rising quick and for years I was scared of it, we can't be sure when it will subside, so I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side." "Hey now, this is my desire, consume me like a fire, cause I just want something beautiful to touch me. I know that I'm in reach cause I am down on my knees waiting for, something beautiful."

I have to feel that something beautiful has to come from this sadness. It's hard for some people understand. I have to say goodbye to my child. I can't separate my children from foster children. My heart doesn't work that way. They are all my kids, and I will claim all of them forever as children of my heart. So when I hear "but you knew this could happen" or "this happens all the time" I can't understand them. They are my babies same as the ones that were born to me. So no one can fix this, I can't just cheer up about it, when I think about it, it is sad. There is no other way around it. No, I'm not on the edge of sanity, no I'm not curled up in the fetal position. I'm on no more Paxil than I was before. It's just sad and there is no other way around that.

So for something beautiful. I know that we healed this little boy. God pulled him out of the pits of hell and saved him. He was spared horrors unknown. I was given the amazing responsibility to love and care for him. He is perfectly perfect. He can bond, he can love, he can learn, he grows, he cries, he laughs, and he drools. He's a baby, he's happy. We did that. So when he leaves my love, he'll be able to carry on and bond again. Sure he'll be confused for awhile, but he's a baby and he'll be loved and be able to love and trust and bond. There's not much more I could give to him. He'll be the start of a new family, new traditions, new jokes, new tickles, new people. Something Beautiful!

Where Has Oprah Taken Us?--Book Review

Where Has Oprah Taken Us? by Stephen Mansfield (The Religious Influence of the World's Most Famous Woman) was reviewed. This book claims to discuss Oprah's influence on America's spirituality.  The book starts off with a claim from Mr. Mansfield that while he will intend to write a unbiased view, he will probably interject his own Christian views into the book. He states boldly that he is a Christian and believes the only way to heaven is through belief in Jesus Christ as his savior.

The book begins with Oprah's youth. Her fluid lifestyle of being raised by many relatives. The book reads much like any other biography of her life. It then starts to delve into when Oprah's religious life changes from Southern Baptist to something more of her own creation.

The next two thirds of the book basically covers all the influences on Oprah's spiritual  life. The books discussed many Eastern religions and their origins. There is great detail of how Oprah and her 'gurus' blend Eastern religions with parts of Christianity to come up with a "thought life" led spirituality. While the book goes into great detail of each of Oprah's influences, it gets rather tedious. At times I felt like I was taking a class in Eastern Religion rather than reading a book on Oprah. However, I learned a lot about aspects of the East I did not previously know.

The book follows Oprah's rise to fame and discusses how her nearly cult-like followers, who believe what Oprah says, are being led into a religion with no solid background that very well may leave them empty and void of a spiritual life when things get bad.

This is a good book to read if you want to learn more about what Oprah believes and how she arrived at her beliefs. However, this is not a biography of Oprah, nor does it try to praise her every move as other biographies may intend to do.

This book was given to me to review from Booksneeze.com, I was not compensated in any other way.

The Kids In My Life

I was getting some water. I glanced at the fridge. I saw all these little faces staring back at me. I have my wonderful three sons. There's the darling little girl. The sweet huge smile of our first placement. The sparkling blue eyes of my sweet baby boy. There's the adorable little boy that we sponsor in Colombia. The sweet boy who spent the summer with us. My two beautiful nieces. My friends kids sitting next to mine, since they were 2. I'm so lucky to have all these amazing little people in my life. The ones born to me, the ones I blessed to help keep safe, the ones far away, the ones who stay a little while, the family, and the friends. I'm a lucky mama!

Wait No More--Book Review

Wait No More by Kelly and John Rosati. This book is told from the point of view of Kelly. Wait No More is about one family's journey in the foster care system and adoption.

When Kelly realizes that there are orphans in America, legal orphans, she and her husband choose not to ignore them. After a first placement that did not work out, they put their trust in God and kept their home open. There begins their family.

The Rosatti family has adopted four children from the foster care system in America. The system has over 125,00 legal orphans waiting for homes and over 500,000 children in the foster care system needing in between homes. The Rosatti family quickly fell in love with each placement and were rewarding with the joy of adoption.

This book does not glamorize or vilify the foster care system. It shows an honest picture. Kelly relays her struggles to understand the bumps in the system and the trials just to give a child a home. Kelly and John turn to God on a minute by minute basis at some points in their adoptions. There are scary events, tears, and smiles. Even after the adoption there are trials. Families should be aware that adoption does not mean a perfect child. Children from the system have unique issues to deal with and Kelly does a wonderful job explaining these challenges.

If you are considering fostering a child, this is a great book to read. Honest and open and a heartwarming journey!

*Wait No More was given to me to review by Tyndale Media, I was not paid in any other way.

One Thousand Gifts--Eurcharisteo

So if you haven't heard of this book, you must stop reading and go buy it. Now! One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It's seriously the best book I've ever read. Ann is a farmers wife and a homeschooling mother. She is this simple living women. She, with a pen in hand, is a warrior. It's like poetry. Her biblical knowledge would challenge any pastor. The book is nearly beyond words. Except that words are the whole point.

With her bits of her life story she tells of her journey to be thankful. One thousand gifts. "I see it now for what this is, this dare to write down one thousand things I love. It is really a dare to name all the ways God loves me." I  bought a special journal to write down my gifts. The front inside cover and the back inside cover is well covered in quotes from there book. It's full of gems.

"The Word has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down our face, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache and whisper "I know, I know." "The fullest life itself dawns from nothing but Calvary darkness and tomb-cave blackness into the radiance of Easter morning." See what I mean, poetry.

"The bridge of our lives shakes not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite. God is passing by. God is in the tremors. Dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by. In the blackest, God is closest at work, forging His perfect and right will."

"To give thanks is an action and rejoice is a verb and these are not mere pulsing emotions. While I many not always feel joy, God ask me to give thanks in all things because He knows that the feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving."

"We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks."

"Eurcharisteo--thanksgiving--always precedes the miracle."

So I begin my journey of thanksgiving and what a better time to share a few of my gifts.


1. Heavy winds through the leaves.
18. Babywearing dads.
27. Watching Mad Men with some of favorite people.
31. Instant photo viewing.
47. My body pillow.
67. My Forks paintings.
84. Jackson sliding into home.
87. Sadie's joy when she saw Shane was visiting too.
85. Sam sound asleep with his arm curled around his Thomas blanket.
101. Newington's white steeple against a dark stormy sky.
106. Sweet teenage babysitters.
111. Peanut butter and rice cakes.
217. Two perfect bottom teeth in a gummy baby mouth.
255. School days when they get it.
314. Chick-fil-A waffle fries.
332. Dinner at Salsa's.
372. Our small Bible study room.
400. My awesome new computer.

Join me on my way to 1000 and grab some paper and see how many gifts you really have!

What might have been.

Yesterday was 6 months since M has been with us. 6 months marks the day we could have started the adoption process (in our state they have to be in your home 6 months even if they are legally free for adoption) Also yesterday was a very important court case that the conclusion to should have had us jumping for joy. Yesterday should have been one of the best days of our lives. Instead, it was a regular Friday.

However on our 'regular' Friday, it was delightful Forks weather. I had a great talk with  Brandy. We carved pumpkins amid laughter. We watched Gulliver's Travels as a family. I window shopped on Amazon for Christmas. I made delicious stuffed shells. M was in a great mood and was being adorable. We had a successful trip to Walmart. I worked on CubScouts and got to see all the strides the boys are making. Johnny made it home safely. It was a good day. Sure it could have been a million times better, but I refuse to let his inevitable goodbye ruin all the good memories from now until then.

We are surrounded by an amazing support system. When I think back about 6 years ago, we had so very little true people. Today, I can't even go to Walmart without finding someone who wants to offer their love and support. It really does make it easier. We love you all.

ASL

So, I've been doing some thinking. I really want to expand my brain. I teach my kids nearly every day. I teach 4th, 2nd, and K. My brain is not being challenged all that much. I thought about taking a class. I love to learn. To take a single class at our local community college is over $350.00 plus books! So I've been looking into something else. I speak a bit of Spanish, but not well enough to communicate with anyone over the age of 5. Then it came to me. I want to learn to sign. I don't know any deaf people, but I think it would be a challenge to learn how to communicate. It's a language and it's learning something new. I'm going to be looking into ways to learn, books, online classes, and local classes. I'm really excited!