Today! Ladybug comes today. I'm so excited for us and her. My baby M heads home this afternoon and a few hours later we will pick up Ladybug. We will probably have one more official week with M next week. His grandfather has implied that we will be able to see him often. I truly hope they keep their word. I love that baby boy so much and would hate to say goodbye to him forever. I have no doubt that his family will love and care for him and keep him safe and sound. His Mama M is so wonderful, I'm so thankful for her to be his mama when she didn't have to be. She's so young, but an amazing mama. He's a lucky baby to be in a home with so many that love and want him. His grandparents are very special people!
I spent all day yesterday cleaning and sprucing up the house for the warm weather. I got all the laundry done. This morning I'm planning school for next week and attempting to keep the house in order. Tonight all plans have been cancelled and we will be focusing on Ladybug. I can't wait to see how it goes.
It's been hard to keep her a secret, but I didn't want to say anything until she was coming for certain. I'm sure the blogosphere will explode in the next few days!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Another Name on the Family Tree. Part 2
So I'm just going to post these blogs after Ladybug gets here. I'm not going to edit because, well I'm just not. We got the official call last night. She's coming on Thursday evening instead of Friday. So our wait is a bit shorter.
I asked Sam last night if he was excited about her coming. He said "I just keep thinking about what she looks like." He's going to be a good big brother. They all are. If Little Miss was any indication, Ladybug will be spoiled in just about two hours!
So my Thursday will consist of getting M ready. Packing him. Having therapy and then driving him home. As of right now, I do not know if this will be our last goodbye or not. It would work out perfectly, but whatever happens will happen. I drop him off at 1:30 and pick Ladybug up at 5:30. So I very well my be saying goodbye to my little love and hello to a new love all in the same day.
We did a training session on how to say hello and how to say goodbye. I'm pretty sure we didn't cover how to do both in the same day. It will be interesting.
My heart is conflicted. Thankfully God gives it room to be broken and whole at the same time. Broken over telling the M goodbye. The baby I've had since he was 35 days old. The baby that will turn a year old next week. The newborn I rocked to sleep, had in a bassinet in my room, did a year of physical therapy with, saw learn to laugh, crawl, sit and stand. The baby I cheered over when he picked up a cheerio and clapped his hands. The baby boy I loved and was sure was mine for nearly 7 months until we learned he was to take another path to his forever family. Oh, how I'll miss that boy.
At the same time, and in the same heart, I'm overjoyed to get Ladybug into our home. To help her regain motor skills. To help her tone her muscles. To give her a home of children to play in and parents who will dote on her and encourage her. Not to mention I get to buy purple again!
My poor conflicted heart and mind. I'm trusting God in this. I'm not thinking ahead despite what the social workers say. I'm ready to enjoy a new little soul. I'm not sure how I'm ready, but I sure am!
I asked Sam last night if he was excited about her coming. He said "I just keep thinking about what she looks like." He's going to be a good big brother. They all are. If Little Miss was any indication, Ladybug will be spoiled in just about two hours!
So my Thursday will consist of getting M ready. Packing him. Having therapy and then driving him home. As of right now, I do not know if this will be our last goodbye or not. It would work out perfectly, but whatever happens will happen. I drop him off at 1:30 and pick Ladybug up at 5:30. So I very well my be saying goodbye to my little love and hello to a new love all in the same day.
We did a training session on how to say hello and how to say goodbye. I'm pretty sure we didn't cover how to do both in the same day. It will be interesting.
My heart is conflicted. Thankfully God gives it room to be broken and whole at the same time. Broken over telling the M goodbye. The baby I've had since he was 35 days old. The baby that will turn a year old next week. The newborn I rocked to sleep, had in a bassinet in my room, did a year of physical therapy with, saw learn to laugh, crawl, sit and stand. The baby I cheered over when he picked up a cheerio and clapped his hands. The baby boy I loved and was sure was mine for nearly 7 months until we learned he was to take another path to his forever family. Oh, how I'll miss that boy.
At the same time, and in the same heart, I'm overjoyed to get Ladybug into our home. To help her regain motor skills. To help her tone her muscles. To give her a home of children to play in and parents who will dote on her and encourage her. Not to mention I get to buy purple again!
My poor conflicted heart and mind. I'm trusting God in this. I'm not thinking ahead despite what the social workers say. I'm ready to enjoy a new little soul. I'm not sure how I'm ready, but I sure am!
Another Name on the Family Tree.
I am positively giddy. We got a call. Oh, wait let me back up first. I was on the phone with my friend. She wanted to do a fundraiser, a 3:30 in the morning fundraiser. I told her that I couldn't because M's visitation isn't in stone and I didn't know if I would have him or not. I didn't want to take a 11 month anywhere at 3:30 in the morning.
We talked about M leaving. I told her I wasn't sure what we would do next. Would be put the house on hold again, look into straight adoption again, get a teenager. She said something along the lines of "God knows who will come into your house and when and it will be good." We hung up. I went back to feeding M, still in his high chair. Ten minutes lady the phone rang. Caller ID said "G....Social Services." New number, not M's worker. I thought it was about training. "Hi, I'm M...calling from social services, do you have a minute? We have a little girl."
I'm fairly certain I blanked for a minute. What, a girl, a baby, huh? Do you not see the 11 month old looking at me? I haven't even said goodbye to him. What about my inquiries on Adopt Us Kids? I'm not approved for two kids. What about our summer off we planned. Wait, a girl, are you sure. Why are you calling me?
Then my head sprung into action and I grabbed paper and wrote the few details she could share before I said yes. "Oh wait, I have to talk to my husband, but yes." Screamed my heart. "Can you meet her this Wednesday?" What. Meet her. That's not how it works. You people call and two hours later I have a child. This is different. "She just can't take care of her anymore. She needs a home. March 16th is what we're looking at."
Yes, oh yes we'll meet her. Tuesday, goes so slowly. Wednesday arrives. Oh, I didn't know hours could move so slow. The babysitter shows us and takes care of the three big boys. I didn't want to overwhelm her. M comes with us. He plays in the magazines and ignores the toys. "Oh there they are."
In walks two women with sadness on their faces. They hate to do this, but have no other choice. It's heartbreaking. A small girl is facing them wiggling about of their arms. Hmm. She's big for 12 months. They ask how old M is. I say 11 months. She says "oh close to her, she's 20 months." Well that explains the size matter, so she's older than we thought.
Down wiggles a 20 months little girl. Blonde ponytail sticking straight up. She toddles and falls a lot. Delays. Born early. Tiny. Her blue eyes lock mine, only once. She stumbles across the room to me. And sits in my lap. I am sunk. Falling down the tunnel of loving someone I just met. Husband watches, smitten. She goes to him, climbs into his lap. Certainly not shy. She hugs M, then spits up on him. We laugh. She lays down. I tickle her. She laughs.
Will be still be able to see her? We want her to be happy. She needs to be around kids. I've got that covered I promise. We chat about her schedule. She says not to buy clothes. I laugh, already planning when to go shopping. We say goodbye. "God willing we'll see you on the 16th." She says. And they walk about. "You'll be great for her" says the worker. I hope.
So now we wait. I don't sleep. Like a kid at Christmas Eve. I'm too excited. I'm horribly sad for the ones making this choice to do what's best. Extremely excited for her to join our family. I decided sitting on that floor with her in my lap. I won't think about tomorrow. I will love her this day. I will not wonder about adoption. I will not worry about goodbye. I will love her this day with all I have to give her.
We tell the boys. They are excited! "It's a pattern boy, girl, boy, girl." says the oldest. "Will we adopt her?" says another. Oh, he's the quiet one. The one who watches and absorbs. The one who I think it hurts the most to say goodbye, sadness flickers across his face when M leaves for visits. The little one asks "Does she drool like J?"
And so we wait some more. It's Monday. Friday the 16th seems eons away. The day I add another name to our family tree.
We talked about M leaving. I told her I wasn't sure what we would do next. Would be put the house on hold again, look into straight adoption again, get a teenager. She said something along the lines of "God knows who will come into your house and when and it will be good." We hung up. I went back to feeding M, still in his high chair. Ten minutes lady the phone rang. Caller ID said "G....Social Services." New number, not M's worker. I thought it was about training. "Hi, I'm M...calling from social services, do you have a minute? We have a little girl."
I'm fairly certain I blanked for a minute. What, a girl, a baby, huh? Do you not see the 11 month old looking at me? I haven't even said goodbye to him. What about my inquiries on Adopt Us Kids? I'm not approved for two kids. What about our summer off we planned. Wait, a girl, are you sure. Why are you calling me?
Then my head sprung into action and I grabbed paper and wrote the few details she could share before I said yes. "Oh wait, I have to talk to my husband, but yes." Screamed my heart. "Can you meet her this Wednesday?" What. Meet her. That's not how it works. You people call and two hours later I have a child. This is different. "She just can't take care of her anymore. She needs a home. March 16th is what we're looking at."
Yes, oh yes we'll meet her. Tuesday, goes so slowly. Wednesday arrives. Oh, I didn't know hours could move so slow. The babysitter shows us and takes care of the three big boys. I didn't want to overwhelm her. M comes with us. He plays in the magazines and ignores the toys. "Oh there they are."
In walks two women with sadness on their faces. They hate to do this, but have no other choice. It's heartbreaking. A small girl is facing them wiggling about of their arms. Hmm. She's big for 12 months. They ask how old M is. I say 11 months. She says "oh close to her, she's 20 months." Well that explains the size matter, so she's older than we thought.
Down wiggles a 20 months little girl. Blonde ponytail sticking straight up. She toddles and falls a lot. Delays. Born early. Tiny. Her blue eyes lock mine, only once. She stumbles across the room to me. And sits in my lap. I am sunk. Falling down the tunnel of loving someone I just met. Husband watches, smitten. She goes to him, climbs into his lap. Certainly not shy. She hugs M, then spits up on him. We laugh. She lays down. I tickle her. She laughs.
Will be still be able to see her? We want her to be happy. She needs to be around kids. I've got that covered I promise. We chat about her schedule. She says not to buy clothes. I laugh, already planning when to go shopping. We say goodbye. "God willing we'll see you on the 16th." She says. And they walk about. "You'll be great for her" says the worker. I hope.
So now we wait. I don't sleep. Like a kid at Christmas Eve. I'm too excited. I'm horribly sad for the ones making this choice to do what's best. Extremely excited for her to join our family. I decided sitting on that floor with her in my lap. I won't think about tomorrow. I will love her this day. I will not wonder about adoption. I will not worry about goodbye. I will love her this day with all I have to give her.
We tell the boys. They are excited! "It's a pattern boy, girl, boy, girl." says the oldest. "Will we adopt her?" says another. Oh, he's the quiet one. The one who watches and absorbs. The one who I think it hurts the most to say goodbye, sadness flickers across his face when M leaves for visits. The little one asks "Does she drool like J?"
And so we wait some more. It's Monday. Friday the 16th seems eons away. The day I add another name to our family tree.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I have been writing.
I swear there are blogs coming. I have them under "scheduled" They will be coming soon. In the mean time, we have been enjoying warm weather. I want to jump in a pool. I realize that is insane, but in happy land the pool is already warm! I love spring!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Freezer Meals
I decided this week I would do freezer meals. I've seen them all over Pintrest and I know a few families who do once-a-month cooking. I'm sure I couldn't do that, but I wanted to try. So I went to Trader Joe's and bought some good meat and vegetables. Then to Walmart to get the rest of our food. I'm attempting to get the kids off of food dye, so the Trader Joe's run was necessary it's just easier to find dye free stuff there. Anyway so with money spent, I was ready to get two weeks worth the food. Here's what my counter looked like:
A few hours and a bunch of dishes later I had the following meals ready to go:
2 baked ziti
2 BBQ chicken
2 bags of shredded chicken
2 bags of homemade chicken broth
2 bags of spaghetti sauce
2 bags of taco meat
3 bags of chicken stuff
3 bags of diced vegetables
Most are crock pot meals. I'm so excited to just pull out a bag and warm and serve. I want to plan other meals that aren't frozen so that I'll get a stock of freezer meals. We eat out way to much. I'm hopeful this will curb that last minute of "we don't have anything to eat" whine that leads to Chick-fil-A or Dominoes Pizza.
2 baked ziti
2 BBQ chicken
2 bags of shredded chicken
2 bags of homemade chicken broth
2 bags of spaghetti sauce
2 bags of taco meat
3 bags of chicken stuff
3 bags of diced vegetables
Most are crock pot meals. I'm so excited to just pull out a bag and warm and serve. I want to plan other meals that aren't frozen so that I'll get a stock of freezer meals. We eat out way to much. I'm hopeful this will curb that last minute of "we don't have anything to eat" whine that leads to Chick-fil-A or Dominoes Pizza.
Friday, March 2, 2012
I'm in Awe.
I did have one story to share about this project. A group of ladies at church started me off with about a half dozen bags. They said they were inspired and wanted to help. At the end an older lady hugged me very tightly. She whispered in my ear "I was one of those kids with my belongings in trash bags." She hugged me extra tight. I can't begin to picture her life in the system some forty years ago. I know back then the system was way worse than it is now. They practiced not allowing a foster family to become attached, therefore they moved a child over and over until they were booted out at eighteen. All with their items in trash bags. I'm glad I can change that mistake, a little at a time, with the backing of amazing people!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Some more creativeness, thanks to Pintrest
Here's a few of the other things I've been working on this week.
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