So there are a few phrases that I'm so beyond hearing! The most common is "you have your hands full!" What's funny, is this is usually said when my children are holding both sides of the cart, one kid in the cart and one in the front part or in the sling, so my hands are literally empty. I know this is not what they mean, but this is a phrase I hear at least 3 times when I go out with all the kids.
So yes, I'm busy, I have a bunch of kids. I would probably take on another one. Get over it. It's not helpful to look at me like I'm crazy for having kids.
Another one "are they all yours?" usually with a disgusted look. I claim our foster children as mine so the answer is yes. When we had J, who was black, there came a bunch of disgusted looks. Seriously people!
Homeschooling!!! There's a bunch. I'm actually thankful for summer so I won't get questioned every time I leave the house as to why my kids aren't in school. We do get some positive feedback on this, but it's usually the rude questions from strangers. "Are you allowed to do that?" "What about sports?" "What about socialization?" AHHHH....yes, thank you for questioning my legality. Yes, I'm allowed to do it! Are you allowed to send your kids to school? Then yes, I'm allowed to keep mine home! SPORTS! Are you freaking kidding me. What are the odds of getting a sports scholarship versus and educational one? Yeah, that's what I thought. And my kids do play sports! Socialization, there's a great one! Well, right now they are socializing with you, you annoying stranger in Walmart asking their mother dumb, uninformed questions!!!! Who is your kid socializing with right now? That should be your worry!
NOW, I must say, that if you are asking because you might be interested in homeschooling, I will talk to you all day, or until the baby starts crying, because as you pointed out, my hands are full!.
My favorite, is, "I could NEVER do that (usually followed by) I can't wait to send them off to school." Well you know what, this is where I do think I'm better than you! I understand some people cannot and should not homeschool. It's not for everyone, but there is a HUGE difference is not wanting or not being able to homeschool and simply enjoying sending your kids off for the the day. This is when I want to shout, well, I enjoy my kids, I like having them around and even when they are being a brat and yelling and complaining at least I am still thankful they are at home! It is disgusting to me to hear mother's counting down the days until school starts. Complaining about having them home for a snow day or teacher work days. ENJOY YOUR KIDS!
I DO NOT question you all day long about why you send your kids to school, stop questioning me as to why I keep mine home! Meanwhile while your kid is behind a desk for 6 hours, here's what mine are doing!
Foster Care:
Before I start this, we get A LOT of positive feedback about this one! However once again it's the annoying strangers that make me want to scream!!
The backhanded compliment: "Oh that's so great, I could never have the heart to do that, I couldn't give them back." Or "how do you give them back, I'd never have the heart to do that?" "didn't it break your heart to let the go?" I am not a yeller, but my gosh, these make me want to rip into people. Are you serious? I HAVE the heart to give them back? Is that what your implying. I'm must be heartless then. It broke my heart to hand J over that day, I still miss him and cry when looking at his pictures. That baby was the light of our lives! If I could have kept him, he would be our son! And it will break my heart if A has to leave! But I must be heartless to do foster care because "you don't have the heart to give them back" Well guess what, I didn't have the heart to either, the state told me I HAD to. I HATE that comment. I am not looking for your justification as to why you're not a foster parent. I'm not looking down on you for not doing it. You asked me about it! AND you will normally say this right in front of my kids, since I homeschool and my hands are full, they are usually standing right there! You know what I think is even more heartbreaking, not having them here at all. Thinking of them still in the abusive/neglectful home they were in. Thinking of never having the love and hugs and smiles that I got as a reward for taking these kids in. That's heartbreaking to to me! Also as with homeschooling I do not look down on those that don't do it. It's not for everyone, but please do not justify your not doing it with some cliche answer.
Once again, if you are legitimately asking me about foster care because it's something you're interested in, then I will talk to you about it.
Okay, that is all. Sorry, I just heard these statements a bunch over the last week and it's driving me crazy. I try to answer people politely, but it's really wearing on me!
So in conclusion: My hands are full of the cutest kids in the world. I homeschool them and watch them learn and grow and discover everyday! It is heartbreaking to watch a child leave my home, but I wouldn't trade the memories of having them here for anything!
