So, can I just say ANXIETY SUCKS

It sucks, like really bad. I'm a lucky one. I've never had an attack out and about. They come on late afternoon or evening. I hate them. Well, duh, no normal person would like it. I don't really have social anxiety for which I am thankful. I have the, damn where did that came from, anxiety attacks. Last night, not thinking anything bad or worrisome. I opened Ladybugs dresser drawer and saw an old sleeper of M's. The heat started in my neck. I knew it was coming. I started doing the breathing. I popped a Xanax. I felt the nausea. I popped a Phengren. I popped to late. I spend a decent part of the evening curled in bed having hot and cold flashes. I threw up. I finally fell asleep. I wasted a perfectly good evening with my husband. He tries so hard. He understands. But, there's not much he can do. My medicine works 90% of the time. I can go three months without an attack. I feel guilty. WHY? I have a perfectly happy life. Healthy children.

Yes, I homeschool and foster. I've been doing HS for 5 years and Fostering for three years. All this just started 18 months ago. I've seen a therapist, I've not be consistent at all. I feel silly sitting in a chair talking about my life. I feel totally fine when I'm there. I have not family history that's "therapist" talk. No divorce parents, no lack of love, no trauma, no abuse, amazing kids and husband. I serve a wonderful God. I have great supportive friends. I feel like such a wuss sometimes. Like 'get it together woman." People have it a lot worse than you sometimes. After an attack I'm on edge for a few days, dreading another one. Then I'll realize it's been three weeks, two months, and then BAM another will start. Apparently with no cause. So can I just say ANXIETY SUCKS! If you suffer, please add your info to the comment section if you keep a blog about it.