Small Business Review.

I have a bought a few items from two small businesses. The first one I'd like to inform you of is Bound Together Designs. This shop is co-owned by two moms. I have bought the most adorable quilt. It is flawlessly made with great care. It's been washed and dried and is holding up wonderfully to a rough little girl. I picked the fabric from what was available, but she does custom orders as well. There are a huge variety of styles. I've loved them all. The prices are very competitive. There is also a payment plan. I actually have a second quilt on order for our little boy. There are many sizes ranging from baby to king size quilts! I've ordered two of the toddler sizes, the are slightly bigger than a baby quilt, better for cuddling as the babies get a bit bigger.

The second shop is Rose Cottage Creations. I have ordered many items from this shop. I've ordered three of the headcoverings/headbands. I was able to order custom colors. The hold my thick hair back very well with little to no slipping. I love the bandana look without the hassle of knotting it.

I've also order many of the scents. The candles are shipped very carefully and smell delightful! You can even create your own color/scent mixture. So fresh green grass can be blue. They are made of cleaning burning soy. They also come in glass or tin containers. The tarts are by far my favorite item. I love Scentsy, but Rose Cottage Creations tarts beat Scentsy by far. The price is lower than the name brand. The tarts are thicker and last at least twice as long, if not three times as long.

There are specials running each month at the shop. This month it was buy three tarts get one free! I took advantage of that! Also be on the lookout for new items, like baskets and aprons!

I suggest that you look at these shops. Great prices, great customer service, and you'll be helping the small businesses of two great moms!

News

We got the best news today. :)

When you think of me, do you see 17?

I heard this new song from Eric Church. One of the lines was "When you think of me, do you see 17? So in the car on the way home I was writing a letter to my 17-18 year old self.

Oh late teen self. You don't know it all. When mom says it's a bad idea to move into that little apartment, she's right. It's really wrong of you to leave a letter on the bathroom sink telling her you're old enough. You're not and you don't move anyway, drop it. She's going to be right about 90% of the time. Just deal with that. Turns out you'll like her. A lot.

You don't need to deal with him or his crap. He has no bearing on your future. In fact you've never even seen a picture of him. Nor will you see him after the year 2000. Oh, and the test turns out negative. Don't stress. He's a jerk. However, he's the reason you quit school and leave town. All in all that turns out well!

You should get to know your brother a bit more. Sure he's weird and bites people's ankles and hisses at them. There's a reason people call him Cat. But he's got some trouble coming and maybe if you were closer you could have talked him out of it. However, you get two beautiful nieces out of the deal. (yeah, I know he has kids, it's still shocking)

That one hangs around in your memory. It ended well. Even when you finally see a picture of him and his wife and daughter, he'll always be 18 to you.

He comes back around. I know you're growing bored and tired of it all. Hang in there. He leads you to the man who will become your amazing husband. Despite what your mother says, you're not to shallow to date someone shorter than you. That's one of the times she's wrong.

Don't mock those people reading Harry Potter. Just don't. Trust me.

Your dad has some health scares. Get to know him better. He becomes an amazing grandfather. Oh yes, you make him a grandfather many times over.

You'll never get over rearranging your room when you're stressed or bored. You just get a bigger house and more rooms. 

Don't ever say to a foster parent "I just couldn't give them back, it would break my heart." It's a phrase that will haunt you in a few years.

Both G & G will disappoint you, terribly. Don't bother with that trip to Florida with two babies while you're pregnant. (Yeah, that makes three)

Family won't be the people who you share blood with. Some of them stick around but by far family will be friends God brings into your life. And babies you don't give birth too. They will be awesome.

Speaking of God, you two will get real close, it just takes a few years of trying to do it yourself. 

Homeschoolers are not all weird. No need to say you'll never do that.

Don't worry about never getting to go the parties and have cool stories. The fear mom puts into you will stick around, thankfully you'll never be a drinker. And you only try pot once, it's a fail. You're dreadfully boring in that aspect and all the better for it.

You never name your son Benjamin, I don't know why, you just won't like it anymore. 

Seek out Brandy in a few years. She's the only one that sticks around from then until now. She'll need your help and you'll be to wrapped up in your little family to help her. Pay attention. When she comes back around you two will be friends like no other! Also she doesn't marry him, don't worry. When her husband comes along you'll really like him. And her kids. (yes, plural)

Self, the life you're going to start very soon will be so amazing. As you type this letter, your two foster children are crying and your husband took the three older boys to CubScouts. You just got back from a two hour ENT appointment, and you couldn't be happier. I guess if you change anything back then it will alter today. So don't change a thing!

Oh yeah, get rid of those jeans as soon as you find out you're pregnant, they are never going on again, and in four years they will depress you, just toss them.

Love,
Me.

They nest with Copperheads.

A few days ago we had quite a homeschool adventure. I was inside and the boys went to swing on our huge tree. I heard screaming. I realized quickly it wasn't the normal screaming. I heard "SAM, GET AWAY FROM IT" and then I heard "It's a baby bear" I freaked out. Where there are baby bears, there are mama bears. I went flying outside and they are all staring at the tree. Then I realized relief for a moment when I saw what they were looking at. A big black snake. My momentary relief turned back to terror when I realized it was a huge five to six foot long snake. Climbing up their tree! After my heart steadied from the morning horror show, my brain decided it was just a black rat snake. Not poisonous. But I do know that they bite. So we stood back and watched it. In all it's snakey grossness.

There's something so icky about something with no arms or legs climbing up a tree.

Taking a tour of the tree house.

He then disappeared into the branches.

  So, of course I'm freaking out every time I have to go beneath the tree, knowing there could be huge snakes above my head. I'm certain they are going to fall on me. And I'm mad because I know they are messing with my birds.

After our adventure we came inside to learn more about the snake and review our pictures. We learned they their favorite tree is a Red Maple, so that's why he was in our tree. They eat moles and voles, which is good for my yard, but those guys don't live in trees. The worst part, the absolute worst thing, they don't make their own nesting grounds, they with Copperheads. They just slither in and share the space. WITH COPPERHEADS!

Thankfully we've never seen one and this guy must of been young. My kids are all over that tree and no animal is stupid enough to hang around for long. I hope.

I'm in Holland.

Have you ever read the amazing essay about Holland? If not, you need to. Go read HERE. Have you done it? Okay good, let's move on. So for the last ten years of my motherhood journey I have wanted a little girl. I LOVE my boys with all my heart. But, I still dreamed in purple and bows. So we decided to adopt, that was a flop. We decided to do foster care. We got a boy. Then a girl, she left six months later. Then a boy. Then a girl. Then the same boy. So I have my girl. Odds are looking good that she will stay. So my dreams of purple and bows are coming true. But, it's not Italy. We were welcomed at the gate, to Holland.

Ladybug is full of windmills and tulips. She's a beauty of a child. Blonde hair and dark brown eyes and long dark eyelashes that make mascara commercials jealous. She's a sweet and loving as the day is long. She's also labeled. She has "sensory processing disorder", "low muscle tone", "developmental delays", "cognitive delays", "severe oral fixation", "severe acid reflux", "recurrent ear infections", " low body awareness", "hyposensitive to surroundings", "possible non-verbal" and I'm waiting on the "autism spectrum". So my sweet little girl needs help. She's seeing a therapist six times a month. We start swim classes next week. She's getting all her medical needs attended to. It's so not the streets of Italy that I imagined. But, we are getting used to Holland. It takes a little longer to get around here, no Vespa to zoom through the streets. We're becoming used to strolling and enjoying the view.

We're seeing bits of improvement, a few small words here and there, playing with a toy for more than five seconds, and better balance. I hope with her intense schedule we will get to visit Italy now and then. Even if we set up our home in Holland, my sweet girl will make it a wonderful place to live.

Now, for something a bit more random. My friend Heather, at Laundry Room Quilts had a quilting challenge. Her quilt was called "Welcome to Holland" I could not write this piece without including the photo of her quilt. It's amazing. (and for sale)

Somewhere Else

Our joy is visible, you can even feel it. Our sweet M is home. The baby we've had since he was 35 days old. Until he was 6 months old, we thought he was ours. From 6 months to 9 months he had visits. From 9 months to 12 months he was with his family more than us. For 2 weeks he was not with us at all. Now he's home. We are so thankful and so joyful to have him!

However, I am constantly reminded that somewhere else, there are people mourning. There is a family who no longer has him. He's such an amazing little boy. I wish...well I don't know what I wish. It's so emotional.

It's the life of foster care. While we're happy to have a child, somewhere there is someone who no longer has their child. And yes, I realize there is a reason why we have these kids. No one removes children from a happy loving family. I get that. It doesn't make it easier sometimes. There's a sadness that hangs over these children and families like us.

So while we lose ourselves in the joy of having M home. The joy of raising sweet Ladybug and M together, more than my heart could even have thought of, there is a sadness.

They don't look like us, because they were not born to us. They, in their short little lives, have been removed, moved, visited, moved again. I pray they come to rest here. This is their home. We are their family. I am their mama. And yet, somewhere there is a mama and a family with empty arms and empty photo frames.

So while my heart mainly sings, there is a tiny part that weeps for what they are missing. And a teeny tiny part that feels guilty that I get to experience these amazing kids and they no longer do.

My heart is singing.

Singing heart? Maybe. I can't even find words. Our sweet baby M is home with us. God and his funny funny sense of humor. We would have never accepted a placement while M was here. So we wouldn't have gotten our Ladybug if M was staying. So he left and we got Ladybug and now he's home. So we have both of our little loves. Two small blonde toddlers/crawlers. My mama heart is singing!