Or more accurately the rest of my life. Or maybe it should be called "Who I Am." or "Who I'm Not." Or possibly even "I Am Who?" But the title came from Tim McGraw. So when I gave birth at the ripe old age of 20 (grief, I thought I was grown up) I knew by the time I reached 30 I would be done with babyhood. When I had my last baby at 24, this fact was certain. Johnny and I would have a blast in our 30's. Our kids would be on the nearly grown side and in middle school and high school and we would have time to travel and hang out. "Make plans, God laughs." Instead, here I am one day into my 30's looking at the most adorable 3 month old! Johnny joked last night. "Ring Ring. Hello, this is social services" (Me:) "Yes" (SS) "We have a" Me: "Yes." (SS)"We need you to take a" (Me): "Yes, yes, I said yes. Is it fat and in diapers, then yes, we'll take them all." Funny thing is, it's not really a joke. We've not said no to a baby yet. He said we'll be 40 chasing infants. I said that's okay, they we'll just chase them while on our amazing private grown up only vacation. As for the kids being in school all day. Well let's just say, my husband and I won't be spending any afternoons at the beach alone for a long time! We don't get out much alone. Like hardly ever. We make our own fun. Our kids might think we're crazy or possible gross. However, one day they'll look back on mom and dad dancing in the kitchen while the oven timer is buzzing and the smoke alarm is going and laughing so hard that we fall to the ground. I hope they'll smile. So in the words of Mr. McGraw "Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here, Lord have mercy on my next 30 years"
In the last three years, I've realized my purpose in life more clearly. I AM a wife and mother. This is my life's path. I have my causes I support. I'll send money or buy their shirt, but my family comes first. I might not be protesting outside abortion clinics, I might not be standing on Captiol Hill, I rarely call my congress men, I'm not making speeches, so what am I doing?
I am raising the future. In my care are 3 boys. Little boys who will be men someday way too soon. I am raising the next generation of men. I want to send real men into the world. Men who love and treat women with respect. Not only their feelings, but their hearts, and bodies as well. I want to send men who open doors and pull out chairs. I want to send men who will write a love poem and not be embarrassed. Men who will protect a woman with his words and with his fists if need be. Men who will be loving caring fathers and heads of the household in the most caring way possible. Men who will play football and tea party (because I dang on well better get a granddaughter) Men who will listen to their friends and family if they say "she's not right for you." Men who will take the counsel and advice of those more mature. Men who will heed warnings. Men who will marry the love of their life. Men who will stand up for what they believe in. Men who will be on their knees in prayer.
I don't know who they will be. At this rate, I'm going to have a "Nascar driver", a "Dockmaster like daddy." and an undecided. Will they be in the military, blue collar, ditch diggers, teachers, or perpetual students. I don't know any of this. I just pray that I raise them to be proud of who they are and where they are. If they end up somewhere they don't like, I pray they will work to get out.
So, who am I? I am a woman who will take in the unwanted children of this world. When the phone rings in the middle of the night, I'm the one saying yes. I am the stay at home mom, long after the first five years. I am the woman that modern day women look down upon. I am the woman "they fought to save" I am the woman who teaches my kids at home. I am the woman at church on Sunday morning eager to learn more about the God I love. I am the woman who loves her husband with all her heart. I am the woman who is proud to let him lead the household. I am the woman who believes family is what you make it, not always what you're given. I am the woman who values my friends and loves them like family. I am the woman who claims foster children as her own, long after they're gone. I am the woman who loves her parents and is thankful for all they've taught me. I am the woman who holds fast to what she believes in. I am the woman who believes there is no greater purpose than being a wife and mother. To honor my husband. To protect the helpless. To raise the future.
