Another Name on the Family Tree.

I am positively giddy. We got a call. Oh, wait let me back up first. I was on the phone with my friend. She wanted to do a fundraiser, a 3:30 in the morning fundraiser. I told her that I couldn't because M's visitation isn't in stone and I didn't know if I would have him or not. I didn't want to take a 11 month anywhere at 3:30 in the morning.

We talked about M leaving. I told her I wasn't sure what we would do next. Would be put the house on hold again, look into straight adoption again, get a teenager. She said something along the lines of "God knows who will come into your house and when and it will be good." We hung up. I went back to feeding M, still in his high chair. Ten minutes lady the phone rang. Caller ID said "G....Social Services." New number, not M's worker. I thought it was about training. "Hi, I'm M...calling from social services, do you have a minute? We have a little girl."

 I'm fairly certain I blanked for a minute. What, a girl, a baby, huh? Do you not see the 11 month old looking at me? I haven't even said goodbye to him. What about my inquiries on Adopt Us Kids? I'm not approved for two kids. What about our summer off we planned. Wait, a girl, are you sure. Why are you calling me?

Then my head sprung into action and I grabbed paper and wrote the few details she could share before I said yes. "Oh wait, I have to talk to my husband, but yes." Screamed my heart. "Can you meet her this Wednesday?" What. Meet her. That's not how it works. You people call and two hours later I have a child. This is different. "She just can't take care of her anymore. She needs a home. March 16th is what we're looking at."

Yes, oh yes we'll meet her. Tuesday, goes so slowly. Wednesday arrives. Oh, I didn't know hours could move so slow. The babysitter shows us and takes care of the three big boys. I didn't want to overwhelm her. M comes with us. He plays in the magazines and ignores the toys. "Oh there they are."

In walks two women with sadness on their faces. They hate to do this, but have no other choice. It's heartbreaking. A small girl is facing them wiggling about of their arms. Hmm. She's big for 12 months. They ask how old M is. I say 11 months. She says "oh close to her, she's 20 months." Well that explains the size matter, so she's older than we thought.

Down wiggles a 20 months little girl. Blonde ponytail sticking straight up. She toddles and falls a lot. Delays. Born early. Tiny. Her blue eyes lock mine, only once. She stumbles across the room to me. And sits in my lap. I am sunk. Falling down the tunnel of loving someone I just met. Husband watches, smitten. She goes to him, climbs into his lap. Certainly not shy. She hugs M, then spits up on him. We laugh. She lays down. I tickle her. She laughs.

Will be still be able to see her? We want her to be happy. She needs to be around kids. I've got that covered I promise. We chat about her schedule. She says not to buy clothes. I laugh, already planning when to go shopping. We say goodbye. "God willing we'll see you on the 16th." She says. And they walk about. "You'll be great for her" says the worker. I hope.

So now we wait. I don't sleep. Like a kid at Christmas Eve. I'm too excited. I'm horribly sad for the ones making this choice to do what's best. Extremely excited for her to join our family. I decided sitting on that floor with her in my lap. I won't think about tomorrow. I will love her this day. I will not wonder about adoption. I will not worry about goodbye. I will love her this day with all I have to give her.

We tell the boys. They are excited! "It's a pattern boy, girl, boy, girl." says the oldest. "Will we adopt her?" says another. Oh, he's the quiet one. The one who watches and absorbs. The one who I think it hurts the most to say goodbye, sadness flickers across his face when M leaves for visits. The little one asks "Does she drool like J?"

And so we wait some more. It's Monday. Friday the 16th seems eons away. The day I add another name to our family tree.