So Klove is doing a word of the year challenge and I've been meaning to write a blog on my word for well 20 days. Then my friend Brandy wrote a great blog about her word,
imagination. So I was challenged again to write this blog. This. is. hard.
During the first week of the year my word was the same as last year, adoption. Then the bottom fell out. Anxiety made it's reappearance. Baby M started visitations. Anxiety attacked. Worry started. Thinking started. Over-thinking started. Only when I realized I couldn't handle it, then I turned to prayer. Should have turned there first. When will I learn?
So my word is no longer adoption. So what is my word? I thought about 'timing' 'helping' 'charity' and 'family'. I have settled on "FOCUS". I want to focus my energy. I want to get Suitcase of Love off the ground. I want to focus on homeschooling. I want to focus on my husband. I want to focus on my friends. I want to focus on my family. I want to focus on what is right in front of me. I want to stop the worrying, the over-thinking. I want to focus on what God has placed in my site.
We're in the process of deciding whether to continue with foster care. It's a heartbreaking choice. How can I go through this again? How can I not? We are definitely taking a hiatus before making a final decision. During that time I chose to FOCUS. Maybe if I focus directly on what I am doing in the moment everything will come into 'focus'.
